


Time

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-03-07
Updated: 2002-03-07
Packaged: 2019-05-15 14:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Waiting.





	Time

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Time**

**by:** Toni Harrison 

**Category:** Drama, Ainsley/Sam with a touch of Josh/Donna

**Spoilers:** Season 2 and beyond though not really any spoilers as such for eps. **Rating:** PG

**Author's Note:** It was a complete labour of love doing this fic. Have had so many ideas with it and also tis the first time I've ever used speech in a fic of any kind so would love feedback as to whether I should go straight back to the drawing board or even back to school for some English lessons! Any feedback gratefully received be it good or bad...Oh and sorry about the title, am officially the worst person at thinking up titles in the whole universe! 

Got so many people to thank firstly as ever to Charlotte for the fantastic beta. You never fail to encourage me and any amendments you suggest are always so right and worthwhile. I probably don't thank you enough but THANKYOU! And thanks for nagging me to continue! 

Also thanks to Kay, Melanie,Star and Beth for the praise and encouragement to keep going as well and a big thanks too to Grace for doing exactly the same. Thanks to everyone who not only sent me medical information and links but lots of feedback and encouragement too. Particularly Eeyore, Dani, Christina, Lisa and in particular Fiona who answered every irritating question I asked without ever complaining. I hope I do your advice a bit of justice! Sorry for gibbering on! If I've forgotten anyone I'm sorry! Right on with the fic! :) 

Ever since she was a kid she'd had a fear of fainting in a crowded room. She guessed it stemmed from a musical concert held at her school. Just prior to her singing a solo of 'Tomorrow' from Annie, a moment her mom had built up for weeks and invited all her relatives to see, she'd begun to feel light headed. Suddenly the combination of nerves, lack of food and then seeing Mr Kroner from Drama class happily munching on a chocolate doughnut led to her fainting. But it wasn't just the normal delicate fainting you saw in the movies. No, this involved falling to the side, colliding with a songsheet stand and showing her panties to the whole of the choir and her audience. She swore to this day that she heard just before her consciousness faded her mom shout out, 'No, not tonight, not in front of Aunt Jessica'. Not for nothing was her full name at school from that day on Flower Pants. 

So when she regained consciousness on the waiting room floor that early morning, the first person she expected to see was Miss Rogers the pianist. She had to blink and shake herself to recognise the concerned faces looking at her now. As she picked herself up off the floor, ignoring the protests of Leo and Dr Bartlet, she remembered why she had fainted in the first place and turned with trepidation to see the faces of the two surgeons who were now nowhere to be seen. Perhaps this had all been a bad dream after all. 

She moved to sit in the nearest chair, glancing in confusion at Leo as he reached for her hand and squeezed it gently, searching for all the faces that had been here before. On looking around the room she noticed quickly that the First Lady, The President and Josh were no longer in the room. Toby, Donna and CJ were but were all looking nervously towards the door. Evidently it hadn't been a dream there was still that same tense feeling she'd remembered from however long it had been since before she fainted. 

The door opened at that moment and Dr Bartlet walked in, her expression grim. Ainsley would probably never remember the exact words the First Lady had uttered at that moment, she was sure that in her subconscious they all registered but all she heard was 'Unconscious' 'Lost a lot of blood' and then something about 'needing to remove his spleen' At this point though, she had shut herself down and pulling away from Leo's hand and, picking herself up unsteadily from her chair, she left the room and made for the nearest exit and some precious fresh air. 

She had been surprised when it was Toby who had followed her outside. From somewhere he pulled a cigarette and offered it to her; she shook her head vehemently and stared at her feet. The silence had lingered for a few minutes until Toby started talking. 

''Abbey says he should make a full recovery.'' 

He looked across at her, his hands moving as his pacing grew ever more tense and worrisome. 

He indicated a bench near the entrance and moved across to it with her. It was a cold morning, dawn was sure to be breaking soon but the frost on the ground only added slightly to her shivers and feeling of cold. 

'What exactly did she say, Toby? Only you may have noticed I pretty much clocked out at that moment then ran away the first chance I could. Don't be kind just to humour me.' Toby caught her eye and saw the look of hope on her pale face, and the eyes that looked so tired. 

'They had to remove his spleen, Ainsley.' He cursed himself at that moment for his lack of tact, and he moved closer to her. She could tell he was uncomfortable in this unfamiliar role, trying to be comforting as he hesitantly took her hand in his own. 'Dr Bartlet says he'll be okay within a few days. Before you know it, he'll up and about, annoying the crap out of me.' 

He was gratified and relieved to see Ainsley smile for the first time that evening and permitted himself a half smile. 

'Thanks Toby. Hey, you know I may just have to find a way to slip this into conversation with Sam, that you came to console me and that he drove you back to cigarettes again.' 

'Yeh? Just try it and I will find a way to get the story of who the hell Aunt Jessica is and what hidden secrets are lurking in your closet. Wanna go inside?' 

She nodded and they both went back into the hospital feeling more hopeful than they ever thought that they had a right to be a little more than twenty minutes ago. 

As they went back inside, the First Lady was there to greet them surrounded by her agents with her coat evidently ready to go back to the White House, this reassurred Ainsley in a way she couldn't begin to explain. 

This time she listened intently as Abbey Bartlet explained the treatment and the injuries Sam had sustained that night. The broken glass had been used to almost deadly effect. Thrust into his upper left side,it had hit Sam's spleen. The bleeding that had initially seemed so slight had, as Sam lay on the sidewalk, increased to a terrifying degree. It was an image Ainsley knew she would struggle to get out of her mind. She remembered when Sam had told her his feelings of Josh bleeding when he had been shot at Rosslyn. She now knew only too well the horror and helplessness you felt at times like that. 

Abby told her how Sam had required blood transfusions and that initially the biggest concern had been to stop the bleeding. He'd been taken almost immediately into the OR where a decision had been made pretty fast to remove his spleen. The thought of removal of any part of Sam's body initially filled Ainsley with horror, a sign that Abbey recognised and she'd moved to reassure her immediately. Sam had been in recovery being monitored closely for almost an hour and a half but was now in a private room. He was still under constant watch but they were allowing a few visitors. 

For the first time in almost 7 hours, Ainsley felt a pang of relief and looked around her. Everyone still looked so tired but the faces were less strained now and as she glanced at Toby, his expression was one of relief and the smile more ready and genuine than she had ever seen from him. 

'Do you think I could go see Sam?' Ainsley asked. 'It's just I don't think I'll believe he's really there until I see him for myself' 

Dr Bartlet smiled gently. 'Well, I'm not his physician Ainsley but I could go talk with Dr Neulander now and see if that's okay. I can't see any objection. I dare say Sam won't be too wide awake though.' She walked away purposefully and Ainsley felt glad she was with them at that moment. 

'You feel like a coffee, Ainsley' Ainsley smiled at Donna. 

'No, thank you, Donna...You look beat and and as for Josh, I've seen him look better before...why don't you go home? I'll call as soon as I've seen Sam' 

'And keep Josh away from seeing Sam? You've gotta be kidding. Josh may be a Harvard scholar, but when it comes to something like this, he's a big kid. Do you really think it'd be fair to let me go home when all he'll do is whine all night about me taking him? I already got my head bitten off twice tonight when I brought him two coffees, he called me the queen harbinger of doom and said I was tempting fate' 

Ainsley smiled sympathetically and was about to reply when Dr Bartlet came down the corridor smiling broadly. 

'Well, not only can you go in and see him right now, but if you're lucky he may even put on a little show for you and open his eyes. He has a tube in his stomach to give it chance to recover and one in his nose to help him breath,' she explained. 'It'll look scary but don't worry, okay?' She looked around at everyone in the room then continued, 'Apparently they're astonished at how well he's recovering, he'll be weak for a few days but just as long as he takes it easy and as long as he doesn't get any post-operative complications, he could be home within a week, I'd say that all things considered it's been a pretty good end to a lousy night.' 

Ainsley heard the murmurs of delight and watched as CJ hugged Toby and Josh kissed a surprised but not unwilling Donna on the lips. Leo looked relieved and smiled broadly for the first time in hours. 

'Ainsley, are you alright honey?' The first lady asked gently and took her in her arms as she sobbed quietly. 'A little too many emotions I guess, right? I would've thought a day spent in the White House would've been enough to get you prepped for this, hmm' 

'Well, I don't know about any of you guys but I have a husband who gets a little impatient about being kept out of any loop at the best of times so I'm gonna head back to the White House' 

'I actually think Sam'll be fine you know as long as you all leave him alone to get well and without any interruptions....Toby!' She smiled pointedly at Toby who put his hands in his pockets looked down but then smirked. 

'Ma'am, I really have no idea what you're talking about' 

'Okay. I'm going now' With a smile at all in the room, Abbey Bartlet and her agents left the room and the hospital. 

Ainsley looked around her and smiled at across at Josh 

'Hey Josh, what do you say to me and you going to see Sam now in that cute little hospital gown?' 

Josh almost leapt from his chair and his expression changed from one of pensiveness to that of a child having been told Santa was his father. 

'Y'sure? You don't wanna see him yourself in private for a little while?' 

'Josh, I think Sam and I will be having lots of private time for the next few weeks, c'mon' 

Donna looked across at Ainsley a relieved expression on her face and smiled gratefully. 

The room was quiet and apart from the interruptions from the nurses every now and again who would come in every few moments to check he was doing well. Ainsley and Josh had been in Sam's room for five minutes now. Ainsley had initially been nervous, afraid even to go in there, frightened of what she may find. 

She had been glad that Abbey had told her what to expect, sure Sam looked a little weird and his face was as pale as the bed sheet that covered his body but the tubes weren't as scary as she had thought and as she watched Sam breathe, she remembered to thank her lucky stars. 

Not a word had been said by Ainsley and Josh while they sat by Sam's bedside, they were lost in thoughts of their own. 

Josh remembering days gone by and praying silently that Sam wouldn't be added to the list of loved ones lost, he admonished himself almost at once and to distract himself looked across at Ainsley, smiling at the look of love showing all over her face as she gazed at Sam. His thoughts strayed to Donna. Last night was the happiest he had been in a long time. The night out had been everything and more to him, he'd looked across at Donna several times during the evening, marvelling at her beauty. He'd always recognised that she was pretty, but last night she was simply stunning. Joey had been right all along, there was far more to them than a boss/assistant relationship and on this morning and right when he had needed someone most, she had been there throughout it all, as he glanced once more at his best friend and at Ainsley, he vowed never to take her for granted again. 

'Listen Ainsley, would you be okay if I take Donna back to her apartment to get changed? Much as I hate to say it, it won't be long til Leo gets itchy feet and I gotta meet with the senate leadership later, I have to take a shower too and besides, I guess you'd be happier on your own and all, kiss him on the cheek and he'll be like the sleeping beauty awakened, right? And now I can see you're almost asleep and I'm rambling again, aren't I?' 

'Josh, go, I'll be fine on my own and I'm not gonna be lonely here' Her face softened and finally some vulnerability showed. 'You'll stop by later though right?' 

'Sure thing, you don't mind if Donna comes too?' He said almost as an afterthought absentmindedly stroking his hair and looking anywhere other than at Ainsley. 

'You know, it's okay to admit to liking your assistant, Josh. Last night was the beginning of something good for you and Donna, and I know Sam'll never forgive you, if you screw this up, and neither will I. Now, go take Donna home and then get back to running the country okay?' 

'Point taken, ma'am,' he said with a smile. 'I really don't think there's actually one woman in the White House who hasn't lectured me by now so I'm gonna go now before the nurses start, 'kay?, You take care of yourself and you'll phone the minute Sam wakes up right?' 

She nodded and smiled as Josh opened the door and left the room. Sighing deeply, she continued staring at the door. 

'I actually thought he was never gonna leave' 

Ainsley shook her head, she recognised that voice but couldn't figure out where it came from. 

'Over here' said the voice again. 

This time there was no mistaking that voice she knew so well, despite its quietness and the evident weakness there. 

'Sam, you're awake' 

'Hey babe, now I know why they made you associate counsel with intuition like that.' He tried to smile but instead swallowed painfully and shut his eyes once more. 

'Sam, Sam, open your eyes' Anxiously she called to him, squeezing his hand. 

' m'okay, just tired and my throat feels like I never had a drink. Why do I feel like someone reached in and pulled out half my stomach?' 

'Could be because someone pretty much did that.' She turned around ready to press the call sign over Sam's bed but a squeeze of her hand stopped her. 

'I love you Ains' he murmured quietly and gently. 

Ainsley leant over towards Sam and placed a gentle kiss on his mouth and stroked his hair. 'Same here.' 

She had then called the nurse who in turn called Dr Neulander. He pronounced himself happy with his patient's progress so far. Not wishing to tire Sam out too much, he instead called Ainsley outside. He explained the scenario for the next few days to her. Sam, he thought, would be okay. The tube would remain in his stomach for a couple of days and then all being well would be removed and Sam could start to eat again, a conservative estimate being that'd he be okay to go home within a week. 

As the news sank in and the realisation that Sam was going to make it, Ainsley felt every moment of the last 14 hours come back to her. She felt lightheaded once again and as Dr Neulander carried on talking, she began to sway. Seeing this, he gently led her to the small waiting room nearby calling the nurse nearby to come into the room. As she sat down and murmured her thanks, the shivering began from nowhere and she began to sob first quietly then followed quickly by huge racking sobs as she began to rock back and forth. 

The nurse moved without hesitation to the chair next to Ainsley and pulled her into her arms, assuring her that everything would be okay. Ainsley couldn't understand her own reaction. She'd just been told Sam would be fine, why was she acting like this. Shock, that must be it. Her tears gradually began to subside and as she pulled away from the nurse's embrace, she took a deep breath and relaxed into her chair. She suddenly felt exhausted and though she had a longing to go back and see Sam, as she curled into the chair she felt her eyelids struggle to stay open and gradually succumbed to a welcoming and finally troublefree sleep. 

Over the next two days, Sam's progress had surprised even Dr Neulander. He had quickly shed the tube in his stomach and was able to breathe without oxygen. He still seemed tired quickly but when Ainsley had come into his room eating the remainder of a chocolate muffin, his eyes had narrowed jealously and his stare was fixed on the crumbs around her mouth. When he had pulled her close to him for a kiss, she was sure she felt his tongue not just caress her neck and lips but the side of her mouth where a remnant of muffin had remained. 

Sam had received a steady flow of visitors, it had seemed the previous night as though the entire senior staff had descended on room J226 and the arrangements that decorated his room would have shamed any florist. His spirits had lifted with every visitor that arrived and when he'd received a telephone call from the President, the smile it brought to his face was a joy to behold. 

She had spent little more than 12 hours away from the hospital since Sam had been admitted and felt so very tired. Even when Sam had been asleep, she would sit by his bed-side and her journal more than ever had been her sanctuary. As she wrote, she realised that she would probably never read them again. Every innermost feeling was in there, the terror, the panic, the anger, the quiet but very definite relief. Every emotion written down in black and white. Maybe this diary was her Stanley; she had always prided herself on her ability to stay calm in any situation and from the hours she had spent whilst Sam was sleeping so restlessly and whilst he shouted out in his sleep she knew that every ounce of strength would be needed for the days, months and perhaps even years ahead. 

The following morning, as she arrived at the hospital from home feeling renewed and as fresh as the cold bright day in Washington, her thoughts were full of nothing but optimism. Sam had firmly but gently insisted that she spend some time at her apartment and away from here, reasoning that when he got home, he'd need more support and help than she could probably give him right now. She had at first argued against it, something inside telling her not to leave but she put it down to her overdeveloped mind and watching too much soap opera, and grudgingly left. She promised to bring back some cds and books but firmly drew the line at his laptop. 

As she got in the elevator and smiled to herself as she thought of the night before which she had spent quietly with Donna and Josh, relaxing and enjoying their company and liking what she saw with the progress of this relationship. The way Josh stroked Donna' shoulder and the way she snuggled into the nook of his knee as she sat on the floor in front of him had shown that however hard these last few days had been, so much good had appeared to come from it. 

As she got out of the elevator, she went first to the nurses station to sign in again as Sam's visitor. As she grinned at Nurse Gonzalez and waved the bag of cinnamon bagels she had in her hand, she was slightly surprised when Erica didn't smile but instead signalled for her to stay right there and then gestured to someone or something behind her.. 

Unease grew suddenly inside her as she turned around, her panic rising when she saw Dr Neulander stood there with a grim expression on his face. 

She heard her voice from a long way away and almost had to repeat herself to make her believe she had just spoken. 

'What's happened?' 


End file.
